After looking for another hosting company, I managed to find FatCow.com. Now, this company might look worth the little amount you’ll pay for their hosting, but remember that you get what you pay for, lol.

I think I paid around $60 for a one year lease with Fat Cow. As soon as I logged into the control panel, I noticed why it was so inexpensive – there wasn’t much there. My first issue was with cronjob’s – there simply was none. I went through 3 or 4 agents before I got it resolved with a billing guy (I was trying to cancel my account), who asked me to hold for a few minutes while he went and had it put into my account.

So now I have a half-assed cronjob – It had a combobox with ‘Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly’ in it.. Seriously? I can’t even set up a cronjob to run when I want it to? Are you fucking kidding me here?! Whatever, moving on…

My next issue is with their FTP. I managed to upload a few files a day (if I was lucky) before the FTP just started timing out and wouldn’t connect anymore. So, I went into the control panel, thinking I could use their java based FTP – WRONG! Browse for a file, click upload and get a message “PHP extension can not be uploaded for security reasons” or something along those lines. Awesome, right?! I also can’t upload htaccess, so their java ftp client is useless.

I finally contacted their tech team about the FTP *goes to look for chat log*. Oh, that was the chat I actually X’ed out of due to their tech being a complete idiot, and trying to blame me for the issue. I explained to him, that I have no issues with any of the other FTP accounts I work in (around 8 or 9 other servers), but he still tried to say it was on my end. I eventually got sick of that shit, and just closed the window out of frustration.

I called up their billing department right after that, and had the hosting canceled and refunded (or so I was told), leaving me with a parked domain, that was quickly transferred over to another host. After about a week of waiting for the refund, I opened a chat session with their billing dept. a little bit ago.

info: Thank you for contacting support.

Please be prepared to answer your Security Question when we begin chatting. To enhance our security protocols, we’ll need you to provide the answer to your Security Question at the beginning of our conversation. If you have not yet set your Security Question and Answer, please log into your account now to set it up. Thank you.

Please hold for the next available operator to respond.

info: You are now chatting with ‘Nina Scott’
Nina Scott: Hi Nito. My name is Nina Scott, how are you today?
Nito Belmont: Good. I was wondering when I was going to get the refund for my hosting I canceled last week
Nina Scott: Thank you for the authentication.
Nina Scott: Could you please let me know the username of the account which you have cancelled?
Nito Belmont: The same one I entered for this chat.
Nina Scott: May I place you on hold for 2 to 3 minutes while I review your account?
Nito Belmont: Sure
Nina Scott: Thank you for holding.
Nina Scott: I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you.
Nina Scott: I’m sorry, in order to assist you, I am going to have to ask a member of our team who specializes in this issue to take care of this for you.
Nito Belmont: Ok..
Nina Scott: Could you please hold for 2 to 3 minutes, while I provide you with the link to access the resolution of the issue?
Nito Belmont: Yes
Nina Scott: Thank you for holding.
Nina Scott: I have noticed that we have downgraded your account to Domain Parking account. I have escalated the issue for refund.
Nina Scott: You can expect a response regarding your issue within 24-48 hours. You can view the ticket status and resolution at:
Nina Scott: http://www.fatcow.com/member/sconsole/
Nito Belmont: Now, am I going to expect issues dealing with whoever takes this, due to it being opened on or after my 30 days?
Nito Belmont: Because I canceled the account last week, thinking I wouldn’t have to do anything further.
Nina Scott: No, your account is not yet cancelled. We have downgraded it to Domain Parking account.
Nina Scott: It is a free account.
Nina Scott: We will issue the refund within 24-48 hours.
Nito Belmont: But I canceled the hosting
Nito Belmont: The billing person I spoke to on the phone said I would receive a refund for that
Nina Scott: Yes, hosting plan is canceled and it is downgraded to Domain Parking account.
Nina Scott: Yes, we will issue the refund of your account.
Nito Belmont: Alright
Nina Scott: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Nito Belmont: Nope. Have a nice day

So after a week of waiting, and me having to contact their billing department, I should hopefully be getting a refund in the next couple of days. And now, it’s time for the actual review…

This company has semi-decent support, with the occasional assholes who think they know everything and you’re always wrong. You’ll probably end up getting different answers from each staff member you talk to. Example: Two tech’s told me Fat Cow does not support cronjob’s, the billing guy told me they did, and had it added.

Hopefully, if you decide to go with this company, you won’t have the issues I had. I don’t know how this company has managed to be ranked first in a lot of the hosting lists, but that shit needs to be changed. Fat Cow is a decent hosting company, IF you’re running html files or a pre-packaged script you install from their control panel, but that’s about it. I wouldn’t recommend this company to anyone I know after the bullshit I went through.

I think you’re better off using a free hosting provider over these fucking idiots.

[UPDATE: 1PM]

Hello,

Per your request, we have downgraded your account ‘XXX’ to Domain-Parked. This package is for free of cost with no hosting space so that you can manage your domain name. Also, I have refunded the amount of $39.16 to your credit card ending with ‘XXXX’ on July 28, 2009 which was charged towards the hosting. Please allow 7-10 days for this refund to appear on your credit card statement.

If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.

Sincerely,

(Name Censored)
Billing Specialist

Nito Belmont contacted FatCow
How am I only being refunded $39.16. The original bill was for $62.99. If the domain parking is free that means you’re trying to charge me $23 for the domain name…

Oh yes, fun fucking times… I love when businesses try and rip you off. I’m sure there’ll be more to come, as I try and pull my money from their clammy claws.

Until next time,
Nito